School: Back to school shopping ripoffs?

Going back to school after a crippling or disfiguring accident can challenge the strongest survivor. If you have a child who has had the misfortune to have had an accident this summer prepare him or her for the inevitable stares and questions. Let them know that staying calm and polite even when others are not, will, in the end, be the best course of action. Be prepared to offer emotional support and be prepared to talk to teachers about the accident and your child's feelings.

I surfed through stories on the internet today that covered accidents in many countries and from many causes. Every thing from diving accidents that paralyzed the victims to lawnmower disasters that resulted in amputated legs. Many of these news articles or blogs referred to the challenges of going back to school. A commonality in these accounts caught my attention. Most of the victims remarked on how it felt to be stared at. Some were clearly changed in appearance, some were brain damaged, some paralyzed or otherwise maimed. The feeling of being "different" was common to them all. Other commonalities were accommodations for disabled which are not consistent or not adequate. Frustrations with time schedules getting between classes when using a wheel chair or learning to use new prosthesis were mentioned a few times as well.

In all of the instances the thing that stood out was the direct cause and effect of the quality of love and support from home on the quality of life at school. Parents helped their children by focusing on the courage of the child and on the improvements that were being made in the recovery process. Going back to school was seen by the most successful families as a return to a more normal quality of life. Although some parents registered grief and despair in private moments the tone of their interactions with their children leaned toward the pragmatic and supportive role. Telling a child the truth is important, they all agreed, and then finding a way forward together made the difference between remarkable recoveries and stagnation of progress.

Having a talk with your child before school starts about what to expect helps prepare the child to handle the looks and the comments. Sometimes a shocked question such as "Oh my gosh Mark, what happened to you?" is simply an expression of concern and your child can deal with it easier if they have role played that scenario with you.

Tell your child that starting back to school will be hardest in the first few days. When other students get over the shock and have their questions answered things will settle down a bit. Do not hesitate to ask for counseling for your child. Do not hesitate to participate in counseling as a family. When a child suffers disfigurement or loses a limb the whole body image is shattered and has to be rebuilt. Paralyzing accidents or amputations can destroy hopes and goals for the future. A good counselor can help the child and the parent come to grips with the realities of the new limitations. They can also help your child re-establish hope, build new coping skills, and encourage realistic goals.

When your child does go back to school encourage them to stretch to their full potential and keep raising the bar. Find stories of people with similar injuries who went on to overcome adversities and excel at life goals. Discuss these role models with teachers, your child, and your child's friends.

Be prepared to intervene if your child is teased, bullied or shunned due to the physical changes caused by the accident. Going back to school should not be an ordeal.....a challenge, yes.....an ordeal...No.



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Buy what you need for the first day of school but don’t buy too much for the rest of the year. Some items, such as pencils and pens, might be useful to stock up on if there is a great sale. But since many stores overstock on items, you may actually be able to find some bargains by scanning for sales after the back to school rush is over.

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One clue about how a society is going and what direction it's taking is advertising. People and companies spend fortunes in advertising every year, every month, every week. Just a cursory look at what's being advertised will tell you something about the society we are living in and its values. Another indicator is to see what the mainstream media is paying attention to. That is even scarier and more obnoxious to me than the advertising indicators. In a sense, they both tell us what is important to citizens and what the public is buying in terms of both physical items and social and political concerns.

Look at the news. It used to be that the news was really news--something that was going to affect our lives politically and socially. Every time a news story gets "hot" it is sucking the life from stories that are important in less sexy, less "tabloid" issues. The impending collapse of social security and Medicare, the horrendous income tax mess, any real discussion about how to deal with the Middle East--all these are blithely shoved aside by a constant and repulsive explosion of parroting broadcasts about Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears and the death of Anna Nicole Smith. I find this not only repulsive and obnoxious, but, frankly, very scary. More and more important issues are ignored while tabloid issues take front and center. More and more we see the same phrases bandied about by newscasters who cry "tragic" with regard to Anna Nicole Smith and "hot item" with regard to Paris Hilton. And these stories go on for weeks, taking up entire news cycles that ignore more important issues. The frightening thing about this is that evidently people are watching this junk, and this is really scary to me because it means they're not demanding that news broadcasters get back to reporting about matters of some importance. In a sense, the news itself has become one big advertising medium because tabloid issues sell papers and media.

The news has always been in love with negative reporting, but more and more, we see an increase in reportage about high profile sports figures who behave like thugs. It is as if these people are important to our lives and our futures. There has always been a symbiotic relationship between the public and the media. If people would turn off the irrelevant news and stop taking papers who advertise garbage reporting, this would become more balanced, we'd begin to see some interesting and really important subjects begin to appear. If I hear one more time the phrase "global warming" I'll throw up. Neither the media nor politicians have allowed alternate points of view on the issue of climate change to have any voice whatsoever. It's as if all those dissenting with the argument about human causes for climate change are dismissed with a frightening stubbornness that echoes the controlled media of past fascist regimes. Silence any opposition by ignoring it and magnify only one point of view. This was the method used by Hitler and by Mussolini in pre-war Germany and Italy to convince whole populations of one particular point of view, and it's quite frightening and horrendous. I find that any time we see the media broadcasting only one point of view we're in danger of being manipulated for political and social reasons that have nothing to do with the issue at hand.

Now onto advertising. Advertisers are constantly touting Viagra and many drugs that emphasize sexual performance. Sexy women with tight pants who have become more and more "tough" and less and less feminine sell cars. I have really noticed that prime time has become dominated by Viagra ads, ads for drugs to make us sleep, keep us happy, make our kids less disruptive in school. Then there are the ads from loudmouth lawyers who scream that they can retrieve money for us from "damages lawsuits" regarding any number of things. Have a lung disease? Call Lawyer A. Have a kid with Cerebral Palsy or autism? Call Lawyer B. What about a heart condition or death? Call Lawyer C, who can make a case it was caused by anti-depressants or any number of other things. In short, advertising at the most heavily watched prime time is dominated by ads that sell sex, lawsuits and drugs. If that doesn't give anyone pause to wonder what the American public is buying, I don't know what is.

Frankly, these trends are not only obnoxious; they're disturbing and quite frightening. What they show us about ourselves and our willingness to pay attention to these ads and to care about the useless tabloid "reporting" is a reflection of our willingness to accept whatever is thrown our way without question. They are more than just passing trends. They are a reflection of a society that is losing cohesion and decent moral standards. They are, in fact, indicators of the increasing selfishness, self-centered crassness, and indifference to our common unity of purpose and principles.

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